day one on the road

It probably isn't really Day One since we drove to Owatonna last night, checking in about 11 PM, but we were up early today, at 8 AM, and Dana took the wheel.  For 300+ miles.

I snapped this photo not long after we left Owatonna, perhaps bout 9 AM.  The sun rays were bleaching through but you can see the clouds in the sky through the sun roof.  Nothing of significance happened other than Dana driving for so many miles.  And she's a very good driver, holding the steering wheel properly, as taught in Drivers Ed.

Tonight we are in Andover, near Wichita, and the thunderstorms are wafting through the area, although they said it would be minimal here in this area, thank goodness.  Tomorrow we leave at 8 AM again, with Albuquerque the destination.

parting - sweet sorrow

Maybe I've been jaded by all the nonsense that goes with preparing for the move including all the arrangements, cleaning things out, over-seeing (or not) the packing process, and getting bored while waiting for the van to be loaded.  Maybe I've let myself get out of touch or something, I don't know.

When the van pulled up all we could do was point the driver in the right direction and watch as they began loading.  They were just "things" having nothing to do with what we had put together here.

As much as we've enjoyed the decorating and building we have done, by the time the house was empty yesterday I was just kind of numb.  I had wondered how it would feel to walk into an empty great room and remember all the great times we had there, the sound system, looking out the high windows at the sky and the ducks flying by, and even watching the shade sails flap violently in a thunderstorm.

When the moment came there was nothing.  I could only feel the satisfaction that it was empty, the job was done, and we were ready to move on.  I sat on the aggregate bench by the pond for a while to listen to it splash; given the very light winds the bubbling was not overtaken by the highway noise, so there was some satisfaction to that.

But the net net is that I guess I was jaded.

We had an enjoyable dinner with the family at the Phoenix.  Then it was time to head south, and we all walked out the door.  I said goodbye to Leigh, and I still didn't get it, that this was a major separation for them, until I hugged Jana and realized she was crying just like Leigh had been.  And the reality was setting in.

For years they had been able to pop in at will, Leigh especially, since she was working right in town, but Jana because she might just buzz through.  Going forward they will really have to go out of their way to make that happen, and I h ope they do.  Jana already mentioned coming to STV in August, when the pool will hopefully be in the ground and operational.  But the easy access?  Gone forever.  Bittersweet.

moving is liberating - for now

I've been asked how you could make such a decision as a 1700-mile move so quickly as we did.  In fact, from the evening we stopped to look at model homes out of curiosity to the day we sent in a down payment only 10 days had passed, which is pretty marvelous.  Especially when we had never spent any length of time in Arizona, Lonna not at all, me only for occasional conventions.

On closer analysis . . .   It's not like we were not totally unaware of the changing real estate market which allowed us to buy low in AZ (before the market started moving up) and sell high in WI (where we caught the first up-tick).  That was a huge motivator, but there were other things.

We found we enjoyed the AZ geology and unique culture where we vacationed, the friendliness of several people that we met, the inexpensive labor for repairing the things that would need it, the fact that there was NO SNOW falling on us unlike back home, and a forced consideration of down-sizing.  Add them all together and we were motivated.

Yes we considered the distance from the kids, but with a return home annually for a month or two, and their flights to a southern climate vacation location with free lodging, we think that can be handled.  Plus a Google Hangout or two for sure.  I've awakened early in the morning with some regrets of not being there to watch the two youngest boys grow but have also realized that watching from a distance probably means we'll appreciate the change far more than we would by seeing them regularly.

The most apprehensive moments occur at 3 or 4 in the morning, when one cannot think logically.  Each time those night thoughts have popped up, I have tried to tell myself it makes most sense to wait until daylight to consider what is on the mind because there is always far more clarity when the sun is shining.  The key moment was probably two mornings before we looked at our house again and made the decision.

At 430 AM I woke and trembled at the thought of having to make DECISIONS about all the junk we had, and how difficult that would be.  At 7 AM I woke and thought, "How liberating this will be to get rid of this stuff, and how important it is to make a decision finally."  We had to - since we were downsizing at the rate of about 1,000 square feet, and that's a lot.  But did we need all the stuff that's been moving out the door since we got home?  Not at all.

Even more motivation occurred when my sister Kathy and I were cleaning out some of Dad's stuff on the day of his funeral.  I was looking at many pieces and thinking "Why would I want this?"  And of course the answer was "You don't."  So it got tossed.  At one point I picked up a snapshot of her son Tim and said "Would you like this?"  She said "No, I have my own."  That was a HUGE response, because it clarified for me the unimportance of so many things we have carefully saved.

That was liberating as we started our own clean-out.  I didn't particularly like going through Dad's stuff and I thought of my own kids having to go through mine, which I felt to be a huge imposition, and I started tossing.  Along the way we have found things kept but forgotten for sure.  Yesterday we located a plastic bag in the garage rafters with two bedspreads - of no use because they're for twin beds.  I have found many driver bits for use with electric screwdrivers, drills, or even handheld tools.  They were in about 4 different places, none of them used because the ones I like are in the case with the drill.  I just had forgotten about them.  How many mini screwdriver sets do you need?  I think I had 3 of them, and use only one.

When the kids said "no" to several items they wound up with neighbors, Good Will, or a church garage sale.  For sure SOMEBODY is going to be happy about it.

Still, the days have come when the feelings emerge, though it wasn't really until this past week.  On Mother's Day all the girls were here and loaded up a lot of stuff, what they referred to as the Big Grab.  They had by then set up a girls day out for this past Friday, which I thought was a terrific way for them to be together.  The plan was to have lunch downtown, stroll around to shop, and enjoy each other.  That was the original plan, to which they added Big Grab Two!

And, oh, did we clean out.  Brad was here overnight on Thursday with a twelve-foot trailer that we loaded in the space available behind his ATV.  Patio furniture, coolers, a ladder, bike rack, and all kinds of stuff filled in the space.  He joked about driving to the nearest garage sale that morning and telling everybody what a terrific garage sale HE had just come from.  That afternoon we loaded Jana's Escape and Leigh's Traverse.  Then a neighbor came over to pick up more remnants for his church garage sale starting the next day - and we loaded his minivan.

The first photo below shows our back yard right after we put up the arbor.  We loved what we had done: colorful, artsy, functional.  You can see the pot with flowers above the waterfall (click the photo to view larger) and the blue pot in the background beyond the swinging bench.  Lonna hung geraniums in the open spaces to add more color.  We had several pieces of petrified wood that her Dad had collected scattered about in the rock garden, providing additional character.  The shade sails were a big relief from the sun.

On a quiet afternoon or evening there was nothing more satisfying or enjoyable than sitting there just listening - to the birds, kids screaming  with joy from a neighbor's pool, the water bubbling as it fell into our pond.  We loved it.

"Now" it's all gone, as you can see in the second photo.  No pots, no flowers, just empty spaces.  On Friday we had a rainy, cloudy day, so the current photo taken this morning does not do justice to the dreary look that I saw when they had cleaned out.  That was an emotional moment and I don't know if I could have taken a photo.  I've been comforted over the years by the life we've built, the things we've purchased, received, and saved, whether in the back yard or in the basement, and here I am ripping that all up, losing the comfort from "things."  I need to look forward to the alternative in San Tan Valley, where the landscaping guy had worked last week and sent pictures early Friday morning.  Then.  Now.  Tomorrow.  One must be ready for each.

Then -

Now -

And San Tan Valley this week -

When the girls arrived on Friday I suddenly realized Jana was walking around taking pictures - of the rooms where we'd been living for 25 years.  And when they returned from their shopping afternoon we all sat in the Great Room and chatted.  It's a moment of pride, joy, and love.  

I don't know how many times over the years it's been just the five of us together, whether eating a regular meal, vacationing in Mazatlan, celebrating at Thanksgiving, or opening our Christmas gifts when we lived in Platteville, Clarence, Aledo, or rural Hudson.

Friday was probably the very last time that just the five of us would ever be together in the same room.  We've been so blessed, and feel so proud that the girls have made their own successful lives.  Tears of pride and happiness run down my face.

life transitions

There it is - May 2, 2013 in the northern climate.  No wonder a person wants to move to Arizona.

After all the commitments have been made, the thought occurred that we've been in the same place for 30 years, so no wonder I was ready to move on.  Other than the eight years in LaPorte, home has averaged maybe 2 years at best, as if we're nomads, and we just got stuck here in Hudson 31 years ago.

There was never any real desire to move until 6 weeks ago.  I told the family my plan was to die here and they'd have to clean things out, knowing that we'd accumulated way too much stuff just by failure to clean house from time to time.  But that's the reality of things.  I wonder how often I have purchased and used a tube of caulk, for example, and though I used less than a quarter of it, the tube was set aside with the understanding that at some point in the next six months I very likely would need it again.  Then I'd forget that I had it.  I've found a lot of that stuff in the last two weeks.

Or a toy used by the first grandchild was set aside after he grew out of it, and by the time any other grandchild would want to use it, that article, too, is hidden somewhere that I've forgotten about.  Thus the last few weeks have been a time of re-discovery, shall we say.

Honestly, the mental process of "choosing to dump or take" has been much easier to undertake after going through Dad's stuff following his funeral.  The good news for him was that he had been downsizing and eliminating over a period of years and there wasn't all that much stuff left, but he had a tendency to keep odds and ends that by themselves had absolutely no value.  At one point he was in his room at the nursing home just adamant that Kathy needed to bring to him a plastic case with a variety of tools - in case he needed "to fix something."  Ignoring, of course, that the maintenance operation at LRH would take care of it for him.

I looked at that case as we did our "distribution" and didn't particularly see anything of value in it for me at least, as important as it was for him.  The entire experience led me to understand that at some point in time my own family would be picking through my stuff and they, too, would wonder why the heck I was keeping what I did.  So our garbage can is filling with stuff that is not worthy of being dropped off at Good Will.

Now the drill has been changing to the prep and setup of 3542 E Velasco St.  So I have:

• made contact with SRP, electric utilities, to put it in our name - so we can be drip-watering the existing plants and two orange trees;
• hooked up the water service at Diversified Water, again for the drip-watering;
• confirmed a setup date for the beginning of waste pickup through Right Away Disposal;
• solicited three bids for Homeowners Insurance and selected Farmers in Apache Junction;
• purchased a new refrigerator at the local Home Depot for delivery on or about June 12;
• contacted three different pool companies for a proposal for the back yard;
• called Rural/Metro Fire Department for enrolling in their fire protection service at $521/year for a service not provided by a local municipality;
• set up a move with DirecTV (with the NFL Package for free - woo-hoo go Packers!);
• connected with CenturyLink for internet service that apparently is DSL but is at a discount since it's bundled with DirecTV;
• tried to set up an account online with the Laredo Ranch HomeOwners Association, with no success since they don't show us as the owners yet, I suppose
• selected National Van Lines for the move, at $2,300 less than either competitor;
• made hotel arrangements all the way to STV for the road trip down June 8 - 11;
• received permission from Mr Wookey to stay at his place during the transition from arrival in STV to the arrival of the National Van;
• and purchased the return flight for Dana and Marni, our driver companions.

I think when we moved to Laurel Avenue we just showed up one day in 1985, at least that's all I can recall.

This morning on a talk show I heard an author/journalist commenting on the book written by Sheryl Sandberg, the whiz kid COO at Facebook. Sandberg speaks in her book of professional struggles and attainments of women.  The journalist was reflecting on the differences between the two of them, and then said, "You know, her book is all about work, and I wonder if she's ever given any thought that she's going to die."

Maybe that was in the back of my head when I was seized by this move, this transition in life.  For all the nonsense that goes into the process, I have been of a notion that there must be something better than where I am today, that living here is NOT all that attractive to me, especially as we see less and less of the family as they reach out, there's no work life that carries me around the country as I did for several years, and Hudson still does not seem like "home" to me. For whatever reason, that's the way it is.

I'm going to die, like everyone else, the family will need to clean out what's left at some point, and I just prefer that it not be when I am in my 90s.  I have thought 87 would be good, since I hopefully would retain most of my faculties until that time, but like a fellow said to me once, "You may reconsider that when you're 85."

Humor aside, there's no time like the present to make one last fling, and Arizona is it.  We have a lot of remodeling to do, but with a little imagination you can see a pool in the photo below, and there will never be any snow here, at least for very long, compared to the photo above.  What's not to like?

Think pool - right about here, after the curb and sidewalk are gone and the trees have been moved

Probably won't be an Olympic-sized pool.  :(  Hope Dana likes it.

thoughtful comments about Curtis Leidal

In an email from Richard Holstad -

Much time has gone by already since your Dad’s passing and I am still thinking of the best words to express my sympathy.

So many deaths recently.

In your Dad’s case, one can say the usual “His struggles are over” or “He had a long wonderful life” or “He is in a better place now” ……  on and on.

But we are talking about Curtis now.  To me, Curtis is one of those people who is supposed to “always be there”.

I have to force myself to adjust my thinking to the fact that he is not there.

I mentioned to you a time or two that Luella and Curtis ALWAYS sent me a Christmas card, whether I deserved it or not.

No matter how much trouble I was in; whatever I had done; Curtis and Luella were always there and they always greeted me with the same “So nice to see Richard” attitude.

Sometimes I thought I should throw my hat in the room first to see if it “drew any fire”.  Of course nothing never did draw fire from them; they always had outstretched arms.

Your Father-Son relationship with Curtis was most likely interspersed with the necessary discipline, not 100% warm and fuzzy times as I am describing.

When I lost my dad, it wasn’t very long before it occurred to me that he was the only one who would recall some football play the he thought was “just outstanding”, or a track meet that should have been 0.1 seconds longer because I was gaining on the lead runner so fast the only problem was the track was just a “smidgen” too short ….. a couple more strides and I wound have had the lead.   

Nobody tells me those stories anymore because no one else was watching the way he was.

Curtis and Luella did make me feel important though.  That was something I will remember and pass along about them with my memories of them ….. “They made me feel important”.

My sympathies go out to you and your family, for sure.  You will get condolences from far and wide from folks from whom you otherwise infrequently have contact.

I consider myself one of those uncommonly available targets for you, Lee.  By that I mean we both know we can communicate electronically with one another within seconds or minutes time on the internet.

Take care of yourself, Lee.

My sympathies to you and best wishes,

when the snow gets you down

Although the climate in Arizona was appealing and prompted us to make a move, I think this sign says it all.  We've had enough snow!

a eulogy for Curtis Leidal

When I gave this eulogy at Dad's funeral I found it difficult to do.  Reading it was hard.  Even though we had our conflicts, as any father and son, he was in many ways a role model, and I cannot forget that.  This is the full eulogy.  On Sunday I skipped over much of the final pages because I knew I just couldn't go on.

Good afternoon.

Thank you all for being here.  It means so much to us that you are here to recognize this man, and with us, say goodbye. I want to share a few memories with you, to celebrate the man he was.

Dad had a natural curiosity.  He liked to learn new things so I always wondered why he left school after 8th grade.  I suppose the correct term is “quit school,” but in Dad’s case “left” is more appropriate since he just didn’t see much sense in continuing.  He then went to work on Grandpa’s farm where he said there was plenty to do.

That natural curiosity was always kicking in as he heard about new things, like computers.  He bought his first back in 1982 so he could track Meals on Wheels expenses as their treasurer.  Then he just kept upgrading over the years.

When Mom went into the nursing home we set him up with a webcam so we were able to do video calls with him.  He could place or receive a call and it worked well to keep him out of the four walls, so to speak, and both Kevin and I had calls with him 2 or 3 times a week.

About a year ago we were talking one day and the conversation turned to his funeral plans.  Again.  I asked his advice on what I should say here today.  He thought a minute and then said, “Tell a good joke.”

What kind of joke - do you have a suggestion?  Well, yes he did, and offered a joke that might best be described as ethnic, so I told him we probably didn’t want to do that because it’s not politically correct and besides, the odds are pretty good that you’re going to offend somebody in the congregation.

He thought for a minute and then said, “Well,I just got back from Bible Study this morning, and they were talking about the Hitites.  I guess there aren’t many of them around anymore, so maybe you could tell one about the Hitites . . .”

So . . . there were these 2 Hitites.  Their names were Sven and Ole.

One day Sven was walking by Ole’s house and saw a sign in the front yard that said “Boat for Sale.”  And just then Ole came walking around the house so Sven said, “Ole, what’s this business about a boat for sale?  You don’t have no boat!  All you have is that John Deere tractor and that John Deere combine!”

Ole said, “Yep, and they are boat for sale!”

It’s good to hear laughter in this church.  When I was a member it seems we were pretty staid.  Things change with time, don’t they.

Dad loved good jokes, and he loved to laugh.  We have many pictures of him with a huge smile on his face, especially when he was around family.

My favorite story about his sense of humor centers on Uncle Irving.  He was probably Dad’s best friend, and Mom said we could always tell where Irving was working by looking at the color of the machinery on the farm: Red for International, Orange for Allis-Chalmers, Green for John Deere . . . everything but Case.

Irving had a habit of finding his way out to our farm about ten in the morning during the week, which coincides, donchaknow, with coffee time.  And maybe cookies or cake.  One morning after he and Dorothy were married he showed up as normal, the day after they had returned from their honeymoon.

Irving had made the mistake of giving their house key to somebody to look after things while they were gone.  Well, the door was “open” and those Holstad girls and their husbands took it upon themselves to do a shivaree, and he had just seen the, shall we say, consequences.  

I recall as plain as yesterday that Dad and I were standing by a green 3-bottom plow when he pulled up and walked over to us, this serious, no-nonsense Irving look on his face and said, “I don’t suppose you know anything about what they did when we were gone?”

Dad gave his very best deadpan, “No, I don’t know . . . “  and Irving said, “I know you know all about it but I’m going to tell you anyway!”  And he proceeded to tell what they had found the previous night.  

Probably the last thing those brothers-in-law did before they left that night was to stack up a bunch of pots and pans inside the front door so when Irving unlocked and opened it, the pans clanged and clattered all over.  

He had to grab Dorothy by the arm to keep her from running away.  

And on the inside they found all kinds of mischief - saran wrap placed appropriately, vaseline on door knobs, cereal in the bed that had been short-sheeted, and the ultimate was the kitchen drawers which they had carefully pulled out, removed the trays, turned the drawers upside down, inserted the trays back into the overturned drawers and slid them back in.  When the drawer was pulled out, silverware fell all over the floor!

It wasn’t long before both Irving and Dad were laughing so hard the tears were running down their cheeks.  To this day I can visualize Dad, Max, Roy, Leon, all of them, having a merry time while doing the shivaree.  I just wonder if we have that kind of fun anymore.

Dad loved music, but I thought he mostly loved it by listening, because I never heard him sing.  Then I heard from Kathy last night that he has been singing in chapel since he went into the nursing home. On pitch.  When he finally was not too shy to sing in public.  

We once had a banjo hanging on the wall at the farm house and I was told that Dad had used that to play in a band.  Yet I never saw it taken down from the wall, never saw him play it, and now I have no idea where the banjo is.

His favorite band, of course, was on TV every Saturday night, Lawrence Welk.

He was so proud of the recording of “In the Garden” that was played for the processional today, but those Holstad girls frustrated him no end because by nature when they weren’t singing they were talking, so he had difficulty getting a clean cut at the end of the song.

He made it clear to me many times that his granddaughter Marni would be accompanying his great grandson Bryan who would be the ONLY soloist at his funeral.  That’s your family/music connection, so important to him.

His computer came in handy when Kevin set him up with iTunes for music, and downloaded his favorite author, Zane Grey.  With the computer he didn’t have to hold the book, and could turn pages with one key, so he often was listening to his favorite music while he was reading.

Where Dad was the biggest role model for me was in his ability to “figure things out.”  With only the 8th grade education, he still had this innate ability to look at a mechanical problem and come up with a solution.  That is often my motivator.  I’ll get embarrassed when I can’t figure something out, even when no one is around, knowing that he could do it.

He bought a welder on the farm, primarily because then he wouldn’t have to pay to have things fixed, although it was also because he loved to do it himself.  He became a “go-to” person for my uncles when their equipment broke, and around the farm he was good at making everything easier with pulleys and machines, anything to avoid the manual side.

He was one of the first to use hydraulic hoists, and put them on our cultivators, discs, plows, wagons, and anything that needed lifting.

More recently this one-armed man amazed all of us with his ability to clip the nails on his left hand - with nail clippers, string, and a push-pedal.

What we couldn’t figure out was his attraction to gadgets, especially if they were free with a magazine subscription.  He thought it was so neat that he could get a free am/fm radio, calculator, phone, clock radio.  He thought he was getting a real deal with those subscriptions and we wound up passing those gadgets along for him . . .

Dad was indeed a survivor.  When he lost his arm in 1964 he was up against a wall.  An 8th grade education.  A farmer all his life, accustomed to and preferring to work alone.  Two kids, ages 10 and 12.  With all he faced, he truly “did what he HAD to do.”

While still in the hospital after losing his arm he resigned himself to his one-handed fate, turning to Mom one morning to say, “You might as well get me a paper and pencil.  I’m going to have to learn to write left-handed.”

He not only learned to write, he learned to type, and when Voc Rehab said they would provide a business education - or a prosthetic arm - he said, “I’ll take the education.”  Because that was his choice he said they also gave him the arm.  He went on to a successful career in insurance, as county treasurer, and agent for the State of Iowa.

Most of all, he was a loyal man, to his family, and especially his beloved Lu, the love of his life.  He first met her - or I should say “saw” her - at a Sunday evening Luther League meeting at Deer Creek Valley Church.  In those days the League would put on some type of program and the evening was more or less a social event that church members might attend.

Dad was struck when he first laid eyes on Mom, and then, he said, “I always tried to put myself in a position where she would be sure to see me!”

Makes me think of Shakespeare: O Romeo, my Romeo, wherefore art thou?  “Over here, by the Baptismal font!”

Like any couple, they would have disagreements from time to time, and they normally ended with Dad going into his silent mode.  He could be kind of stubborn.  

But when she was confined to the nursing home, he trekked to her room daily and sat there all day, every day, to keep her company.

And I recall summer nights, when I was growing up. The windows would be open with a gentle breeze blowing through upstairs.  We could hear the sound of the farm coming from the barnyard.

The pigs were eating, as they always do, so when they pulled out of the feeder the door would noisily clank shut, and the cows ambled about the barnyard, the chain and ID around their necks tinkling as they walked about or bumped into each other.

And I would hear Mom and Dad talking softly, he speaking soft enough that I couldn’t hear, and she chuckling at whatever it was that he said.  They were indeed a pair, and he longer had to stand by the Baptismal font trying to get her attention.

Last but not least, he was loyal to this church.  When we moved to Grove Township, we all became members on Mom’s birthday, March 7, 1949.  And though we all have memories of the church, my most vivid memory came at the marriage of my sister LaVerne and Kenny in February, 1959.

This was my big sister, you know, so I wanted to do things perfectly.  When the wedding party had advanced to the altar, we ushers were lined up on the floor here, three on each side.  I stood ramrod straight - perfect.

After a while I noticed everything was getting dark, and soon the only light I could see was a circle around Kenny and LaVerne and Pastor Mikkelson.  I started to wake up as Dad and somebody else were dragging me through this door on the side.

Since I was no longer part of the ceremony, I didn’t know what else was happening, but I heard later that Karen, who was a bridesmaid, turned when she heard the commotion, then pirouetted to the floor as she fainted.  Kenny turned to help, but LaVerne grabbed him by the sleeve, as if to say, “Pay attention here, Buster!”  And the wedding went on.

Things you never forget, right?

As I said, their church loyalty was strong. Mom and Dad were regular in attendance as long as they were able.  They celebrated their Silver Wedding here, then their Golden Wedding, and were just a few months short of #70 when she died.

• All five of their children were confirmed here.
• All five of their children were recognized at graduation here.
• Two of their children were baptized here.
• Two of their children were married here.
• Karen’s funeral was held here.
• Mom’s funeral was here.
• Today, his funeral is here, and our First Lutheran book is closed.

At his request we have few flowers in the church today, only a vase of five roses, white for their girls, red for their boys.  We will leave them graveside as we say goodbye.

There are so many more stories I could share with you about this man and what he meant to his family.  Like any human being he had his faults, but we will always remember that he cared deeply about us.

We know that you have your own memories and we hope you will take some time to share then when we meet for that traditional Lutheran coffee break after the services.  That would be nice.

So many of you have already expressed your sorrow and your sympathy, and we do appreciate that.  But I think I speak for  the family when I say that Dad is at peace at last, and we are grateful.  I think you’ll agree that he had a wonderful life.

Thank you.

the surreal death

Today we bury Dad.  At the time of the burial this afternoon the forecast is for mid-40’s with rain.  It won’t be very comfortable and many folks will stay at the church while we are there. 

Cynthia Vold Forde sent an email about all the changes that will be going on now, and the many that I’m sure I won’t expect.  I already know that the trips to Northwood will be in decline, with the irony that over the past year I have gained strong personal relationships with many from the Hood that I did not know before Project McNamara.

And the move to Arizona may be a positive part of the separation process.  It’s almost as if Dad were expediting or smoothing the way by his death.  Were he still alive, our move would create some apprehension, but all that is gone now.  No sudden trips home from a distance.

We were in Arizona when he died.  Kathy called in the morning to let me know he had fallen and had been unresponsive since.  In the afternoon Kevin suggested we do a Hangout with Becky in Solon, so we holed up for a 5 PM video conference.  After a few technical snags, I finally saw Dad lying in bed in his room, Kevin and Kathy just on the side of that screen, Becky on a separate screen on my monitor.  He was lying still.

Perhaps he heard us talking, I don’t know.  They say that dying patients often wait until the family is in attendance before they go.  Could be.

Maybe 15 minutes after we were fully hooked up and discussing his situation, Dad gagged, as if vomiting.  Becky cautioned he should be rolled on his side, and somebody went out for a nurse.  The gagging seemed to go away and David, the nurse, started checking vitals.

After a couple minutes David mentioned that he had a misreading, I believe on Oxygen level, with disparate reports on two different instruments.  As quickly as he said that Kevin said, “He’s turning yellow.”  And no more than 20 seconds later David said,  “I can’t find a heartbeat.”  This event was, to use the NBC phrase of the 70s, “Live and in color.”

He told me years ago that when he lost his arm the doctors were working on him and he suddenly felt himself floating over them, looking down.  And he grabbed something to pull himself back. This time he let go.  

1600 miles away, I could feel it.  His life is over, ours begins anew.  It’s all surreal.

when does it end?

Even though we knew it snowed after we left, I was thinking the snow would be gone for sure when we got back.  Not!  Our front yard, right, still had several inches of snow in a wide bank, and the backyard didn't look much different.  Last night it snowed some more and now they're forecasting 6 to 12 inches starting at noon.  Whatever.

Makes me glad we're moving to AZ.  Wanna buy a snowblower?  It's practically new!

a vacation ends, a new story begins

Time being limited, I will only say that the last couple days of our vacation were enjoyable until we faced the reality of a loss in the family.  While touring Tuzigoot, the ruins of an Indian pueblo, I got a call from my sister Kathy to let me know Dad had fallen and hit his head.  He had been non-responsive since, and continued that way until we did a video call at 5 PM AZ time, and he died about 5:25.

It's really a blessing since the last five years of his life had been a struggle, caring for Mom as she wasted away in the nursing home, then 3 years alone in declining physical condition.  This was his fourth or fifth fall since last September, and will be his last.

Prior to that event we had enjoyed Cottonwood and Jerome, were booked into a nice resort in Sedona on Wednesday, and headed home by way of some beautiful scenery including Oak Creek Canyon, the Petrified Forest, and the Painted Desert.  They're all included in an album accessed if you click here.

time to re-imagine yourself

Last fall we registered for a series at UW - River Falls titled "Morning with the Professor."  The first session was a presentation on the billion-year geologic history of the St Croix River Valley formation.  The story was impressive and thought-provoking.  The second was a presentation on computer-mediated communication, in which the presenter talked about re-imagining communication, from what it has been to what it will be.

The concept of re-imagination is suitable in other ways as well, including our person and our life.  That's kind of where we are today, having traveled to Arizona to vacation, falling in love with what we saw, and then making an offer on a home that we think would be terrific for us.

Consider that it means moving from the community where we have lived since 1982, the home we've lived in since 1985, and the family that we will be leaving behind.  That last part was a kicker that we were able to accept only by logically realizing that they are successfully living their own lives and candidly don't see us as often as they used to, and that's a good thing.  They're independent.

Those who have children who moved miles away after high school or college graduation probably don't relate to this loss of children, but we have always had numerous family get-togethers each year, and now we'll be happy if we get a visit each year at Christmas, when the water in the pool will be a bit chilly.

At the moment of this writing, in Cottonwood, AZ, we're still $1500 away from the seller, but don't think they will be sitting tight.  The home is one that was purchased on foreclosure with the intent to flip it.  In December they priced it too high, lowered it $10,000 and 10 days ago lowered it another $10,000.  They gave us a counter-offer on our original offer to lower it another $3500, and we proposed they come down another $1500 - and we'll see.

We left San Tan Valley just before noon to buy some balsamic vinegar here in Cottonwood, and discovered we will come back here after we move because they have a lot of arts/crafts stores offering Navajo pottery, cactus and other sculptures, and numerous items suitable for an Arizona homeowner.  The photo inserted here was taken at Sunrise Point, a rest stop on AZ 202 as we traverse from STV to cottonwood.  It's another example of the awesome scenery that we're looking forward to having as  part of the environment daily going forward.  We are re-imaging our lives.

Old Cottonwood - mountains in the background

more sightseeing

I'm getting a little behind on my daily stories given the outside time being spent looking at property here in Queen Creek.  So I'll make this a short one so I can get back to making calls regarding a pool.

We spent Thursday at the Desert Botanical Gardens and the Heard Museum.  The former gives you more desert scenery than you can handle in one day - especially if you're in need of a test after the fact to show what you've learned.  I now know the difference between a barrel cactus and a prickly pear, that the former isn't so aggressive as the latter, which seems to reach out and grab anyone walking by.  At least that's what the yard guy just told me a bit ago.

Generally speaking it's a unique and beautiful sight, adding to the full scenery.  Look at the sky in the photo above - the beautiful blue seen often, though not today because it's cloudy.

We went into the butterfly exhibit and were surrounded by butterflies.  They control the entry and exit to be sure no butterflies escape.  The still photos are not the best because it's hard to focus on a moving object, but the videos give you an idea of how many are there.  And there were LOTS of people and children observing.

The Heard Museum is all about the southwestern Indian, especially their art, which is impressive.  On one wall there is a family tree dating back to the original artist, born in the late 1800s, and four or five generations of pottery artists who are direct descendants.  She has some awesome pottery, which is slightly functional but mostly art for sale.  She toured around the country putting on demonstrations for several years selling the pottery, so she was a marketer.

Here is the full day's slideshow -

seeing more sights in Arizona

Olive Mill Restaurant (and farm actually) is located about a mile from where we're staying, and their
reputation as a unique place draws a whole lot of people.  We were late in getting there, maybe 1:30 PM, and the parking lot was pretty full of people, most eating lunch, but many just buying Extra Virgin Olive Oil and a variety of other olive presentations.

The shelves are stacked with numerous EVOO options, although the bottom shelf was empty, probably because old folks don't like bending down that far.  Our lunch was delicious, and Lonna wants to replicate their garlic balsamic dressing so she can have it at home.  I enjoyed a HopKey IPA and then we checked out all their retail goods.

Great Clips was a  half-mile away and since we were both ready for a clipping, I checked their website and found the wait time was "0" minutes.  Well, Lonna got in right away but I had a short wait, but no matter, we got what we came for.  You'll notice the finished product on the left looks pretty much the same as the model haircut on the right, and both parties seem happy about it.

So then it was on to a neighborhood we had read about - where we discovered the view to be very nice.  Imagine stepping out your front door every day and being able to see that mountain not too far away.

The back yard features a similar view from poolside.  We don't have that in our rental, but oh well.  It's not worth 15 grand.

our turnaround in Payson

I don't have my own photo of the Buffalo Bar and Grill so I stole this one off their Facebook page.

It was four in the afternoon and we weren't really looking for something to eat so much as a chance to rest up a bit before returning to STV. So we just ordered jalapeno poppers that were a bit hotter than we'd like.

Payson is elev. 5,000 so it's considerably cooler.  In fact the temp was about 64 degrees when we were there compared to about 80 back in the Phoenix area, so it would seem to be a place that many folks would escape to in the summer.  The area is scenic, and being higher in the mountains has a number of pine and cedar trees as an alternative to all the cactus we've seen earlier this day.

We remarked frequently on this drive as to the unique scenery, and how it changes as the sun changes and the drive goes on.  The cactus tend to grow on the sun side of the hill, and the mountains range in color to a subtle red towards the end of the day.  Some mountains show the striated levels and then we round a bend and the mountains seem composed of large round boulders sitting atop each other.  The closer we got to Payson the more green we saw on the hillsides, and as we returned to Phoenix it turned to sand.

A friend advises you really want to be here in the summer to determine if you really like it, when the temps are continually over 100 and eggs fry on the sidewalk.  But like Lonna says, there are 5 million people who haven't been scared away from the area.  Making a decision about living here would involve a lot of pro's, and con's are up to the individual.

We were struck by this mountain range along the Bush Highway north of Mesa.  It shows some of the spike appearance of the Tetons with color of the Arizona range.  We pulled off the road and snapped this out of the car window.

With all the photos I have taken I have found it difficult to capture the view that you see realtime.  This one is no different.  Click the photo to view a full-screen image.

We're not done seeing all there is to see and know we won't get to it this year.  We've already booked a 6 week visit next February/March and we're hopeful it won't be as cool as it was this year.  We've been struck by the friendliness of the people we've met, both tourists and locals.  At Tonto National Monument we basically walked the last half to the cliff caves with a couple from Moscow, ID, and enjoyed the visit along the way.  Even the check-outs at Walmart speak to you in conversation, and the servers at various restaurants seem to care about who you are.  Unless they're super busy, and that's fine.

"Where are you from?" is a common question, asked because most people came from somewhere, and we often run into tourists or folks who have moved here - from North Dakota, Ohio, Idaho, Minnesota.  That seems to strike a common bond immediately with people, and the homeowners quickly go into the story of how/when they made their purchase.  One fellow from OH that we met on our walk still owns a farm back there which he is hoping will have oil wells on it when he gets home.  We know he bought his 1640 sq ft home here for $89,000, has 3 daughters, one divorced, none of whom can afford to fly out here (he may use some oil money, huh?), his firs wife died of cancer in 2003 and he married his current wife in 2009 although she had been chasing him all through school 50 years ago and he says he wasn't aware of that.

Sometimes the stories get long.  But he's made a couple of good referrals for us, has given us insights on the home maintenance process, and certainly enjoys visiting.  He drives a Harley, set up a shop in his garage with all kinds of tools, and shows he is a man who uses his hands.  Bottom line for Roger is that he has lived a pretty good life and now enjoys where he is.  Nothing wrong with that.

direct from Gila County, AZ

We had a terrific day bumbling around from San Tan Valley to Globe (lunch at Chola's - Navajo tacos), the Tonto National Monument, the Roosevelt Dam, and on to Payson.  On the way to Globe we stopped to view some scenerey and got attacked by a fellow from Jamestown, ND, who couldn't share enough information, mostly that getting too close to the edge of the mountain was very upsetting to him.  When he left we shot this video, which gives you an idea of the beautiful area.

Then we went on to Tonto National Monument, where I found a couple of weary travelers as I panned around the valley.

We may be falling in love with Arizona.  In full screen. To view all of today's photos, click this link.  You can view as a slideshow but it will skip by the videos, which are all noted by the "play" button like you see on the above.

San Tan Flat

Trying to choose a place to eat dinner we read about San Tan Flat, a pretty unique restaurant off Hunt Highway.  Lonna had the flat steak and it was pretty good, but I had a half rack and it was OK at best.  More food than we could eat at one sitting so some of it came home with us.



The decor and ambiance makes the place.  Look at all the "stuff" on the walls of the interior, and the outdoor seating that works well to attract a biker crowd.

One of the reviews I read mentioned some of the clientelle looked "a little rough," which would be true if you're talking blue hairs.  There were a lot of them wandering through, and some of the men with them were riding the bikes out front.  It's a favorite activity to be zipping around on your Harley.

We left after eating and made our way through a residential district, then turned back to Hunt Highway.  On the way back we were treated to this view of the mountains behind the San Tan Flat -

Ten days later we owned a home in AZ.

the modern farm

For our lunch break yesterday we rolled down Rittenhouse Road to the Schnepf Farms, an extraordinary farm that includes organic farming, retail operation, and family entertainment.  Their website gives the story of the birth and development of the farm itself as well as the history of Queen Creek.  Originally the area was called Rittenhouse, but in the 60s Mr. Schnepf, the original, and a couple others realized how Mesa and other communities were stretching out, and to preserve the area, they established a community that was named Queen Creek.

It was a good time to be there if you wanted to avoid crowds, which should arrvive at Easter, advertised on their website as Egg-Citement.  And when they host the Peach Blossom festival I'm sure they will have a load of folks coming in as well.

We're talking about going back for their weekend breakfast buffet - or order an omelette off the menu.  And we did buy some of their casa grande salsa, and a bottle of something else.  All guaranteed to be good, I'm sure.

For $1.50 you can grab a basket and go pick your own veggies.  We saw one family doing just that - at least the mother was.  They have rows and rows of whatever you want, all irrigated, all very healthy.

A model train (maybe 1/5 scale) circles the grounds at about 2 mph so we didn't ride it, but it looks appealing to seniors and children.  The people were really nice - too nice, probably, because they talked me into a sample of their chocolate. It was delicious.  And with no prompting, we purchased a caramel roll, the last one in the tray, and it disappeared this morning.  It had to go - it's not acceptable on Lonna's new diet.

this must be worthy

How can you not appreciate the ingenuity, creativity, the wastefulness of it all?

UW Marching Band

On Wednesday the news from the Hudson Patch (online news and messaging) was that the Wisconsin Marching Band would be stopping at the Kozy Korner again.  For the first time ever, I knew for sure when they would be in town - and I'm in Arizona!  Fortunately the Patch took some video.  Click here to view it.  (I had to remove it from the post itself because every time the page was opened the music started playing!)

Since I have never been there I can only assume it's kind of a blast, though more enjoyable later in the day, perhaps at cocktail time and not 9 in the morning when this video was taken.  Bryan Godtland told me one time that he was there when they played and "It's really loud!"  I suppose.

pretty scary stuff

When we were on South Mountain we talked with a young couple about things to see in Phoenix.  He was heading off on a bike and she walked after him, after telling us about Heritage Square downtown.  Finding the square and parking was not difficult, but we made the mistake of deciding we would start with Heard Museum and started walking there until we realized it was a half-mile away.  So we doubled back and went into the Science Museum.

It's the typical science museum and maybe more, with lots of hands-on stuff for kids, so there were plenty of them there, being loud and having fun.  We wanted to time the afternoon so we'd finish by having pizza at the Pizzeria Bianco, an Italian restaurant the couple on South Mountain had recommended.  So after viewing a number of exhibits, we chose to delay our departure at the IMAX theater by watching the movie about polar bears, glaciers, seals, and the disappearing Arctic Ice.  It was our first-ever 3D movie, for either of us, and we thought we looked pretty cool with these scary glasses on.

Yeah, that's us, and the theater was dark but for some reason the flash wouldn't go off.  Probably enhances the value.  We were both impressed when the movie's opening credits broke like ice shards and looked to be flying at or through us.  Fortunately we escaped unharmed, though I might have tweaked something when I dodged.

There's also a museum on the square and other restaurants, but we were on a mission for pizza.

We ended our tour at Bianco with the Wise Guy pizza, no sauces, wood-roasted onions, mozzarella cheese, and fennel sausage.  Delicious.  The building looked to have true historic value but their website doesn't say anything about it, only describing the food and bar.  Nonetheless it was all delicious, but probably not the type delivered by a guy on a motorcycle.  We just kind of wished we had eaten outside.

South Mountain, AZ

Today we took a good look at the Arizona Geology by touring South Mountain, the largest municipal park in the US, purchased by philanthropists years ago, then laid out by the National Park Service with the original buildings set up by the Civilian Conservation Corps.

It's kind of an interesting birth - established by wealth, but developed by the federal government, another example of the role of government when there is no vested interest on the part of corporate America to build a public domain.  We took several pictures, like this one, that shows the geology - with the city of Phoenix in the background.

There were other locations where there were far more cactus, and this lacked the elevation since we were only two miles into the park.

According to our friend Jack Kensler, who referred us to the park in the first place, all the mountains in the area were created by lava eruption, and we were beginning to see them on every horizon.  At left is a sample.  It occurred to me as I looked around that it must have taken YEARS for all the rocks to cool down.  Thank goodness it was a billion years ago. These boulders were only a small part of the accumulation.

At the top a stone building presumably built by the CCC stands as a shelter from which more photos could be taken.
It looks sort of like an adobe hut, cool inside and the source of a scenic view.

Far off in the distance you can see downtown Phoenix and all the high rises.

In the center of this photo, in the downtown area, you will notice two white arches separating another building, the baseball stadium where the Arizona Diamondbacks play.


I pulled out my phone and looked the stadium up on Trip Advisor because I knew it would tell me how far away the building is located.

From where we stood, the stadium is 6.99 miles to the north, as the crow flies.  Not that we planned to fly there, but, you know . . .

From here we followed the road to a couple more locations, ending at the Gila River overview where, to our surprise, a fellow was about to take off on a paraglider.  I whipped out my camera but  failed to record his takeoff or flight because in the bright sunlight I couldn't see the Start Recording button, until it was too late.  Lonna started talking to their "pilot" before we left and found for $250 I could enjoy a tandem flight.  Their website, Fly High Paragliding, had a video of a tandem.  Scroll to the bottom of the page to view it..

Paragliding may be a challenge for another day.  Lonna said maybe next year . . .

The Gila River lies far below the south side of the mountain and presents a different view.  The housing developments here have seemingly just begun.  All the photos are on the trip album - click here.