moving is liberating - for now

I've been asked how you could make such a decision as a 1700-mile move so quickly as we did.  In fact, from the evening we stopped to look at model homes out of curiosity to the day we sent in a down payment only 10 days had passed, which is pretty marvelous.  Especially when we had never spent any length of time in Arizona, Lonna not at all, me only for occasional conventions.

On closer analysis . . .   It's not like we were not totally unaware of the changing real estate market which allowed us to buy low in AZ (before the market started moving up) and sell high in WI (where we caught the first up-tick).  That was a huge motivator, but there were other things.

We found we enjoyed the AZ geology and unique culture where we vacationed, the friendliness of several people that we met, the inexpensive labor for repairing the things that would need it, the fact that there was NO SNOW falling on us unlike back home, and a forced consideration of down-sizing.  Add them all together and we were motivated.

Yes we considered the distance from the kids, but with a return home annually for a month or two, and their flights to a southern climate vacation location with free lodging, we think that can be handled.  Plus a Google Hangout or two for sure.  I've awakened early in the morning with some regrets of not being there to watch the two youngest boys grow but have also realized that watching from a distance probably means we'll appreciate the change far more than we would by seeing them regularly.

The most apprehensive moments occur at 3 or 4 in the morning, when one cannot think logically.  Each time those night thoughts have popped up, I have tried to tell myself it makes most sense to wait until daylight to consider what is on the mind because there is always far more clarity when the sun is shining.  The key moment was probably two mornings before we looked at our house again and made the decision.

At 430 AM I woke and trembled at the thought of having to make DECISIONS about all the junk we had, and how difficult that would be.  At 7 AM I woke and thought, "How liberating this will be to get rid of this stuff, and how important it is to make a decision finally."  We had to - since we were downsizing at the rate of about 1,000 square feet, and that's a lot.  But did we need all the stuff that's been moving out the door since we got home?  Not at all.

Even more motivation occurred when my sister Kathy and I were cleaning out some of Dad's stuff on the day of his funeral.  I was looking at many pieces and thinking "Why would I want this?"  And of course the answer was "You don't."  So it got tossed.  At one point I picked up a snapshot of her son Tim and said "Would you like this?"  She said "No, I have my own."  That was a HUGE response, because it clarified for me the unimportance of so many things we have carefully saved.

That was liberating as we started our own clean-out.  I didn't particularly like going through Dad's stuff and I thought of my own kids having to go through mine, which I felt to be a huge imposition, and I started tossing.  Along the way we have found things kept but forgotten for sure.  Yesterday we located a plastic bag in the garage rafters with two bedspreads - of no use because they're for twin beds.  I have found many driver bits for use with electric screwdrivers, drills, or even handheld tools.  They were in about 4 different places, none of them used because the ones I like are in the case with the drill.  I just had forgotten about them.  How many mini screwdriver sets do you need?  I think I had 3 of them, and use only one.

When the kids said "no" to several items they wound up with neighbors, Good Will, or a church garage sale.  For sure SOMEBODY is going to be happy about it.

Still, the days have come when the feelings emerge, though it wasn't really until this past week.  On Mother's Day all the girls were here and loaded up a lot of stuff, what they referred to as the Big Grab.  They had by then set up a girls day out for this past Friday, which I thought was a terrific way for them to be together.  The plan was to have lunch downtown, stroll around to shop, and enjoy each other.  That was the original plan, to which they added Big Grab Two!

And, oh, did we clean out.  Brad was here overnight on Thursday with a twelve-foot trailer that we loaded in the space available behind his ATV.  Patio furniture, coolers, a ladder, bike rack, and all kinds of stuff filled in the space.  He joked about driving to the nearest garage sale that morning and telling everybody what a terrific garage sale HE had just come from.  That afternoon we loaded Jana's Escape and Leigh's Traverse.  Then a neighbor came over to pick up more remnants for his church garage sale starting the next day - and we loaded his minivan.

The first photo below shows our back yard right after we put up the arbor.  We loved what we had done: colorful, artsy, functional.  You can see the pot with flowers above the waterfall (click the photo to view larger) and the blue pot in the background beyond the swinging bench.  Lonna hung geraniums in the open spaces to add more color.  We had several pieces of petrified wood that her Dad had collected scattered about in the rock garden, providing additional character.  The shade sails were a big relief from the sun.

On a quiet afternoon or evening there was nothing more satisfying or enjoyable than sitting there just listening - to the birds, kids screaming  with joy from a neighbor's pool, the water bubbling as it fell into our pond.  We loved it.

"Now" it's all gone, as you can see in the second photo.  No pots, no flowers, just empty spaces.  On Friday we had a rainy, cloudy day, so the current photo taken this morning does not do justice to the dreary look that I saw when they had cleaned out.  That was an emotional moment and I don't know if I could have taken a photo.  I've been comforted over the years by the life we've built, the things we've purchased, received, and saved, whether in the back yard or in the basement, and here I am ripping that all up, losing the comfort from "things."  I need to look forward to the alternative in San Tan Valley, where the landscaping guy had worked last week and sent pictures early Friday morning.  Then.  Now.  Tomorrow.  One must be ready for each.

Then -

Now -

And San Tan Valley this week -

When the girls arrived on Friday I suddenly realized Jana was walking around taking pictures - of the rooms where we'd been living for 25 years.  And when they returned from their shopping afternoon we all sat in the Great Room and chatted.  It's a moment of pride, joy, and love.  

I don't know how many times over the years it's been just the five of us together, whether eating a regular meal, vacationing in Mazatlan, celebrating at Thanksgiving, or opening our Christmas gifts when we lived in Platteville, Clarence, Aledo, or rural Hudson.

Friday was probably the very last time that just the five of us would ever be together in the same room.  We've been so blessed, and feel so proud that the girls have made their own successful lives.  Tears of pride and happiness run down my face.